1. |
forest fire
04:48
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we've fallen in
held in our formation
we begin
exhausted from our waiting
a taller sin
to help the liberation
sink or swim
i can't celebrate this
and i can't love you how i want to
i need you like a forest fire
i need you in the worst desire
and i can't love you how i want to
the feeling is a forest fire
washed my hands
said love is what you make it
touch my back
just light enough to break it
laid in plans
until the sunrise faded
then coffee and
a taxi to the station
and i can't love you how i want to
i need you like a forest fire
i need you in the worst desire
and i can't love you how i want to
the feeling is a forest fire
there's aluminium shining and a ferris wheel
set up to reflect the morning sun
all the gulls are so far from the sea
and they keep spinning, they keep spinning on
and i can't love you how i want to
i need it like a forest fire
i need it in the worst desire
and i can't love you how i want to
the feeling is a forest fire
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2. |
what a lovely way
05:03
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we chattered leaning on the bar
your shaking hands and smokers cough
and awful things you shouldn't say
oh what a night to cut me off
oh what a night to cut me off
pick me up and take me home
i'm sick of waiting for this call
and take me quickly to your bed
oh I don't want to talk no more
oh I don't want to talk no more
i checked into a cheap hotel
and shrunk the earth inside my head
i don't need air, i don't need food
oh let me stay inside this bed
oh let me stay inside this bed
leaning on your broken bone
you moved to kiss me on the mouth
smiled so sad and turned away
oh what a way to leave my house
oh what a way to leave my house
paid for coffee, left the spot
and shivered in the winter sun
you can hold my hand to find some heat
oh my god what have i done?
oh my god what have i done?
so shake me gently by the throat
and whisper that you're on my side
you can hold me loosely in your jaws
oh what a lovely way to die
oh what a lovely way to die
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3. |
laburnum
04:59
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you're standing under the cherry
'til the leaves turn red and gold
and all the blossom is lost in rotating skies
and the spinning of your shining soul
you're opening up to the golden chain
and you would be chewing your cheeks
i am counting the cost and i am petrified
passing time as it passes me
and oh, my old lover
you have so many gardens in your soul
and oh, i know its stinging
but someone else will stick, someone else will sit and watch them grow
you're down by the harbour and weeping
combing the reason in my words
but we were young when we surrendered to the moon and tide
and everything is changing as it turns
and oh, my old lover
you have so many gardens in your soul
and oh, i know its stinging
but someone else will stick, someone else will sit and watch them grow
and i can't carry you home
it's all underwater now
i can't shoulder your load
each flower is a firework and deafeningly loud
and oh, my old lover
you have so many gardens in your soul
and oh, i know its stinging
but someone else will stick, someone else will sit and watch them grow
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4. |
burren
03:47
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cracked stone ground to the western cliffs
where Clare stares out the atlantic
shale falls steep to waters deep
small peace that they are granted
green will rise to carpet over
from fissures in the rock
where purple rolls, all buried low
and karst won't shrug it off
and we are stretching out our hands
across the strait gaps
making every (every helpless) thought sacred
the fire is dying out, the fire is dying out in ordinary spaces
embers spark at the talk of past
and burn some curtained memory
flares gone up to celebrate
and slurs through stirring empathy
climbed the stairs through humming ship
where cracked heels bleed onto covers
and fell in love as billows black
all wracked the keel in shudders
and we are stretching out our hands
across the strait gaps
making every (helpless) thought sacred
the fire is dying out, the fire is dying out in ordinary spaces
and my shadow is taller
as the air travels fast
i am tracing my borders
can you draw me a flag?
so I’ll wait on the corner
movement stuttering past
i am tracing my borders
fingers marking the land
and we are stretching out our hands
across the strait gaps
making every (every helpless) thought sacred
the fire is dying out, the fire is dying out in ordinary spaces
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5. |
as i am
04:06
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your executive dysfunction has you almost bored to tears
and you're mad 'cause someone sold you on that treacherous idea
that you're twentysomething, middle class and lucky to be here
to your depression's an invention, you should let it disappear
so we'll go listen to some rich white boys sing songs about cocaine
somewhere where no one pays attention to what's happening on stage
and the lack of personality's made up for with class As
we can joke but somewhere both of us suspect that we're the same
i just want you to see me as i am
i just want you to see me
there's reasons to surrender and there's reasons to resist
so we'll shiver at the feeling of the fusing of our hips
the sex will seem like magic til we've both shown all our tricks
and there's nothing up our sleeves enough to keep us interested
so I'll sink into the mania and burn my candle down
in a desperate attempt to prove i'm swimming while i drown
and the water's getting deeper as i'm pushing further out
it's a prison cell, there's no escaping now
i just want you to see me as i am
i just want you to see me
Darling when i touch down
You'll be making sense out of the little words
When we're on the way out
Underneath the grey sound of silver birds
And I'll be waving
I'll be waving
I just want you to see me as I am
I just want you to see me
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6. |
pyrrhus
04:44
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i always thought that i would die young
in some dull and unromantic way
so i went out sleeping on benches or with strangers
and i figured that my luck would keep me safe
and i saw some fucked up shit i've tried forgetting
and i'm honestly amazed i'm still alive
i'm clinging to the moments i've been grateful
that i've made it all the way to 25
and i think about you, friend, when i am tired
the things you said you’d told nobody else
when we cried beneath your duvet in frustration
that you couldn’t really feel the things you felt
then our conversation stretched and turned and tumbled
and i told you things i find it hard to say
we lay there for a moment 'til the morning
and left before the city was awake
so we brought each other films and books like magpies
and turned the volume up to hear the score
and realised as the credits finished rolling
that neither one was shaking any more
then we listened to that song about the coffee
and recognised our mindset in the words
we made and shook a deal out on your doorstep
that we wouldn't let the other one die first
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7. |
swiss army man
05:05
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give me a smoke and i'll buy your next drink
dance with me slowly in front of our friends
you don't seem to care what anyone thinks
and so well unaware of how all this will end
casual glances and brushing your arm
you don't seem to care where we're gonna go
smoke on the sofa and kiss at the bar
joke with me softly, make love to me slow
and i couldn't be your swiss army man
but i made it home, i made it home, i made it home
and you'll be alright?
are you running away?
every time i get closer i wish i could stay
so come to delight
with fine drugs and champagne
every time i get closer i know that i'll wait
the flowers, the wine, and the keys off the chain
the books on the table, the band off my wrist
this would have been easier with someone to blame
at least i might get some good songs out of this
but i couldn't be your swiss army man
but i made it home, i made it home, i made it home
and you'll be alright?
are you running away?
every time i get closer i wish i could stay
so come to delight
with your love like cocaine
every time i get closer i'm pulling away
and i couldn't be your swiss army man
but i made it home, i made it home, i made it home
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8. |
colours
03:36
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it's strange to be unwelcome in a haven, number 80a held safety 'til it didn't anymore
now there's nowhere to escape from all the mess that no-one made, man I can't place the blame its just the situation
so in my teenagerish pain i let frustration in again and i will rail against the world and all that's in it
but waking up today i feel as ancient as the clay, i feel the dragging winter weight behind my eyelids
oh please don't talk to me
my darling please don't talk to me
it was embarrassment and shame when i was packing up my case to take a change of clothes and toothpaste to your hotel
cause there'll be hell to pay for any lapse in our restraint, this table's all that's in the way of coming closer
and even if we lay in nothing but comfort and play i think that neither of our hearts could take the strain
but either way we both retain a love that's gone away, and so occasionally mistake each other's names
oh please don't talk to me
oh please don't talk to me
our love is laid in state until we organise the wake and play the songs that decorated its creation
i couldn't blame the faith; it was the body and the brain that failed each other, taking turns at devastation
and all the colours that you made will drain out of my face and fade away 'til nothing else remains but shades and outlines
then tomorrow's like today, the world continues anyway and I won't talk to you if you don't break the silence
oh please don't talk to me
my lover, please don't talk to me
my lover, please don't talk to me
oh lover, please don't talk to me
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9. |
st. felicity
03:37
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st. felicity watches your house
i was only a kid when i met you
sunlight and rapeseed, my bike breaking down
it was late and you came to my rescue
st. felicity waits down the line
got no plans and no place to be going
it’s pouring down heavy with thunder and lightning
take care, don’t get caught in the open
all of your saints on your walls, hung in rows, and the stained glass rose up on your window
watch as your family pray on the rosary, charlotte rose up from the grave
but it's all paper-thin
st. felicity sits on the stair
you’re as patient as you are relentless
you and me, teenagers, sex in the air
as exhausting as we are self-centred
st. felicity watches us dance
in the slow ending days of the summer
bees buzz and die in the thick yellow grass,
we take jobs so we stay out of trouble
all of your saints on your walls, hung in rows, and the stained glass rose up on your window
watch as your family pray on the rosary, charlotte rose up from the grave
but it's all paper-thin
it’s a dream with no chance to begin
on a 3am flight from east midlands to amsterdam
i missed a call while i hung in the sky
messages left on a nokia answerphone
hoping the news was that you'd be alright
all of your saints on your walls, hung in rows, and the stained glass rose up on your window
watch as your family pray on the rosary, charlotte rose up from the grave
but it's all paper-thin
it’s a dream with no chance to begin
and she’s knocking, so just let her in
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10. |
DNR
04:32
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you hid in the drawers
in your parents bedroom
you slept 'til the sunrise
crept through the cracks
and then you pretended
that you'd been out walking
considering running away from it all,
but you always come back
and then all the questions
when you went to school
the uncomfortable answers
never quite left your mouth
i know you didn't
know any better
and you returned
to a mostly empty house
you've been brought back from the dead,
you should feel lucky to be alive
you've been brought back from the edge
and you asked me not to next time
and now you're crawling
into my bed
a comforting presence
and someone to hold
we'll never be lovers
we're just kind of desperate
when anything's better
than sleeping alone
and you've been calling a name
but this time it's someone I don't recognise
and you've been walking away
and I asked you not to this time
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11. |
sweet insanity
04:21
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oh sweet insanity
i hope i don't remember me
when i would rather be
starting again
painless tragedy
i hope you'll soon forget me
i would never be
hanging around
i'll keep my hand behind the curtain
and let go when nobody can see
slow catastrophe
i'll sit beneath the orange trees
and hope it all comes painlessly
In the end
hold up my mercury
burning unheavenly
a gentle brutality
breaking me down
i'll keep my head above the water
i'll let go and drift off out to sea
i'll leave my heart below the surface
i’ll let go with no one here but me
i don't know how much more I can give
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12. |
samaritans
02:26
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loughlin Leeds, UK
Musician and writer making art in Leeds and further afield. Songs from snowfields and bus stops and back gardens.
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